1 Million Dollars

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Getting ready for college, different for males and females?

This is a hard topic to discuss, but an important one.  Rape and sexual assault are common on college campus.  The rape epicenter at my university is the undergraduate dorm, and that is common on many universities, according to the campus cops I spoke to at last years take back the night event.  A tweet was posted tagged with #YesAllWomen and said "Because when girls go to college they're buying pepper spray and rape whistles while guys are buying condoms".  A girl's first two weeks on campus is the time in which she is most likely to be raped.

Keep in mind that many people will have access to dorm rooms, even if both students sharing are careful with closing the door and locking and you can't guarantee that.  RAs, and maintenance people both have keys that can be stolen or more horrifying, used.  And, what happens when your daughter goes to take a shower and is not able to lock the door?  Freshmen are often required to dorm, but you can pay more to share an apartment which will have a private lock on both the bathroom and bedroom.  You can talk to both your sons and daughter about consent, alcohol and rape.  You can support your child if she comes to you and tells you she was raped, even if it was because she was drunk.  You may even be able to convince the school to allow your child to live off campus if you push hard enough.  I'd have the rape and sexual assault information about the area they want your child to live in hand. 

During college the average rapist rapes 5.8 times but they do not call themselves rapists.  Only when they are asked about the actions of rape do they admit it.  "Have you ever had sexual intercourse with someone, even though they did not want to, because they were too intoxicated [on alcohol or drugs] to resist your sexual advances?" and 1/16 college men said yes.  Please explain that lack of no does not mean yes, a lack yes means no.  Teach both genders to stand up to sexist and aggressive comments. Know how to get help off your campus, because sadly the cops on campus answer to the president of the university so they may not help you.

This is suppose to be a time of excitement, of new experiences and growth, but growing up females means being aware of the risk of being female.  #YesAllWomen  Don't let this stop you from your goals but be aware of what is happen.  Speak up and talk.

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